Beneath The Rose Mask
by Lora Helen
Summary: Wufei's life after the wars was not what he had hoped, but he was getting by. But a figure from his past doesnt seem ready to die just yet. Will he have to let Treize go or not? 5x13
1. Chapter 1

**Beneath The Rose Mask**

Hey there! Lora here, this is.. another random story from me! There is just one more part to it that I'm going to start right away and post within the next few days! Its just one of those plot bunnies that hopped into my head and started gnawing SO badly that I had to let it out again! I hope you enjoy! Its sort of Treize Wufei, I'm not sure where my writing will take me however!

This is written in honour of my bestest Letter sending friend in the whole world Banshee0 Go Ju Go! Love ya!

* * *

Three more elegant twirls and a clap of delicate hands bedecked with glinting rings that set the charm filled bracelet's that were wound round thin effeminate wrists jingling ended the long exotic dance.

Below the raised stage the audiences' eyes were filled with awe, pleasure, and in many cases, lust.

The dancer was an enchanting creature, not tall in height, and neither large or terribly thin. Slender would be a good word to describe the silk clad frame that was now bent in a low bow upon the stage. A loose silk wrap served as a top by way of being wound around shoulders and torso, leaving most of the upper arm, all of the lower arm and the stomach free to the air.

As the dancer rose from the low bow, the thin chain belt that held the thigh-high slit trousers around the slightly rounded hips glinted in the light, as the free flowing blood red silk caressed the figured softly rounded legs and traced the tops of soft red slippers. The whole effect was akin to a shimmering red and golden flower or flame dominating the stage.

With purposeful movement the dancer moved across the stage to the far left corner, and pushed the dark velvet curtain aside, stepped through, and around the group of giggling women who were waiting to take their turn on stage now that the crowd had been warmed up.

A soft sigh escaped from carefully stained red lips, and softly powdered lids covered dark eyes in a slow blink. The dancer resembled a sorrowful painted doll as the door to a dressing room was unlocked, opened, passed through and closed again.

This was not the life that Wu-Fei Chang had envisioned for himself. This dark underworld of lust and passion, where mascara, eyeliner and lip-dye were your only mask did not suit him at al.

"Kei." There was a soft tap on the dressing room door

"Hmm." Wufei responded in a quiet tone "Who is it?"

"Its Ling. The Mistress says you need to go and collect your shawl from the stage front so the next routine can begin. And Soon."

Footsteps walked away and Wufei sighed again. _Kei Lang… I'm such a traitor._ Kei Lang was the name Wufei now gave if he was asked, to try and forget who he once was, and make sure others never found out. Slowly Wufei made his way back to the heavy velvet curtain. The stage was all in darkness now, and he was able to see the audience, standing in the background, or seated at tables nearer to the stage. There was a big crowd tonight… but then, these days' places like this were increasingly popular on the colonies, particularly the most impoverished ones… if any real distinction could be made. It was no surprise really, what other entertainment did the people of the estranged colonies have? Who would have thought so much could have changed in three short years…

He walked the short distance that now remained between his shawl and himself, and stooped to collect it.

As he leant down, his eyes widened… A figure in the audience caught his attention, and he froze.

A tall man, with Ginger hair cropped short, yet long enough to curl very slightly at the ends, broad shoulders… the jacket should have been blue not black… But... It was him! It had to be!

Wufei straightened up, the shawl caught in his hand, the man was turning slowly… he'd be able to see his face… He'd be able to tell if it was- _NO!_ The lights in the auditorium dimmed, and the curtains began to open again.

_No. No No NO!_ Wufei's mind screamed at the injustice, and he launched himself off the front of the stage and onto the same level as the audience, though as it was dark, most just presumed this was supposed to be happening. Casting his eyes about wildly, Wufei searched the tables for the man. He had to be there, he couldn't have just vanished… grown men didn't just disappear. But the man, as far as Wufei could see wasn't seated at any of the tables… And there was no way he could have moved that fast through the throng of people gathered at the back.

Finally, a horrible realisation set in. He'd imagined it. It was starting again…

With a disgraced expression on his face Wufei made his way swiftly to the performer door that was concealed behind a large ruffled wall hanging, and managed to duck inside just as the large spot lights lit up the stage. He would be in trouble if he were spotted.

Disjoined movements were all he could manage as he made his way toward his small dressing room, brushing past people he would usually have acknowledged without any sign that he had seen them at all. He felt totally alien all of a sudden, it was as if he had been moved a few inches to the left and he was no longer quiet himself any more… the memories were so strong. It was with some relief that he finally reached the still open door with his number written on it, and shut himself away in his dressing room, sliding the bolt across and into place.

His eyes were burning as he made his way over to the chest of draws that filled most of the far wall of his room and tugged the top left one open, carefully lifting out a battered shoe box.

He made his way over to the only seat in the room, and settled himself neatly on it, settling the box down on his knees. With a degree of care he removed the lid and set it on the floor. There were a few trinkets kept in there, it was safer to leave them here than at home… the door here had a lock, and the dancers had at least a little respect for one another.

His hand shook very slightly as he reached into the box and lifted out a badly battered, and slightly faded photo.

"Treize…" the name slipped though his lips before he was able to stop it.

The figure of Treize Kushrenada was indeed staring out from the small photograph, one hand tucked up to his chin, and his eyes looking ahead in a thoughtful fashion.

Things had been on a down him slant ever since the day Treize had died.

Though it was true that the Wars were over, and Marimeia had been stopped, no one who had stepped foreword to lead the alliance in the past three years had been anywhere near as effective at commanding the respect of the common people and aristocrats as Treize had, and slowly the two peace crumbled.

The colonies separated once again from the earth sphere, and decreed that they could care for themselves, and the last leader had decreed that they should be allowed to do this… He had died three days later, and no one else had stepped foreword to take his place since. And now almost a year had passed, and the alliance lay broken without a leader to fix it.

Over the years, the colonies had begun to fall into disrepair as people began to lose interest in them. The earth slowly began to stop caring for her children, and the state of the colonies continued to worsen.

Quatre, Wufei knew was one of the few people who still fought for the rights of the people on the colonies, but no one was really listening to him, the Gundam pilots had all come from colonies, and so he was now naturally distrusted once again.

People had begun to leave the colonies, as wealth as well as food was not that common, but soon the shuttles begin to stop arriving, and fares sky rocketed, and as it stood now, there were very few people who would ever be able to afford to leave the colonies for a better life.

Wufei had been able to keep in touch with the other pilot for only a very short while, as communications between the colonies was one of the first things to fail, but as far as he knew Trowa had stayed by Quatres side, and Duo was still hoping that Heero would come back for him. But then… it was easily eighteen months since he had been able to speak to any of them… he only ever saw Quatre on some of the rare days when the televisions on L5 were able to pick up a weak signal. The times were very dark. It was basically a world where your neighbour could just as easily be an enemy as a friend, and no one really trusted anyone else.

"Treize…" Wufei murmured again "You… You should have blocked… this world needed you far too much… you may have ended the war... but this… this is just so much worse…"

Wufei's pretty face and his elegance, borne from years of martial arts had allowed his access to one of the only professions left… entertainment… He was an exotic dancer in the sole adult club on L5. Much of the small amount of money that entered this dilapidated colony from alms passed through the hands of the mistress of this place, and her badly paid girls, and of course, Wufei.

It was a woman's job… of course… other relationships were kept under the rug… but a feminine outfit and a little make up worked wonders. Wufei danced every night and no one could ever tell. To be honest it was rather difficult to se the face of the strong and proud dragon pilot of the Gundam 05 in this slender effeminate dancer who covered her fierce eyes with a rose patterned mask, it wasn't uncommon though, for people not to want to show their faces.

A salty tear fell from the end of Wufei's nose, and landed on the picture, where it was carefully wiped away.

"We had so little time Treize… I always thought that it would be me who died… not you. I never even told you how much I respected you… Cared for you. How I nearly loved you."

He set the picture away again, and carefully replaced the lid of the box, he didn't want to look through the rest of the contents, it was altogether just too much for him. But at the same time, he just couldn't let them go. They were all he had left now.

In silence he placed the box back in the drawer and wrapped his coat around his shoulders. It would be cold outside. Since the weather system broke all it ever did was snow. Even if there was someone with the expertise to fix the system, no one had the money to buy the necessary parts.

He tugged his coat tighter around himself as he reached the back door, and pushed it open. His breath caught in his throat as his slight frame was hit by a fierce rush of cold air, he wished he could afford a thicker coat, but, as he was only required once a week, that was never likely to happen. He waited by the door until it closed with a click, and then he made his was down the little back alleyway onto the main high street. As he rounded the corner, he was frozen to the spot for the second time that night…

Standing on the opposite side of the high-street, with a long dark grey overcoat draped over his shoulder was the hunched figure of the man Wufei had seen in the club, a dark grey coat draped about his shoulder. Wufei's breath as coming in sharp gasps, it just couldn't be Treize… it couldn't be. No matter how much he looked like him. Treize. Was. Dead.

_You saw it happen you stupid fool._ Wufei chastised himself. _There is no way that Treize Kushrenada survived that blast… it's just… a coincidence that that man looks like him._

"Yeah…" Wufei mumbled to himself "A coincidence."

With a shake of his head Wufei began to walk down the high street, though it wasn't long until he felt that he was being followed, instincts are really hard to get rid of. And sure enough, twenty metres down the street he heard footsteps behind him, crunching in the soft snow.

"Wait! Please!"

Wufei felt his knees weaken very slightly as he heard that voice, as smooth as silk and as deep and rich as thick fresh honey _He's gone… You're just imagining it… there must be hundreds of people in the world with soft gorgeous voices that turn your legs to Jelo… _

He carried on walking, not slowing his pace, until he felt a hand catch hold of his wrist.

"Wait."

Wufei turned, and slowly let his eyes trace up the strong chest, past the show covered shoulders, and up to the soft, and currently confused face of the man whom Wufei had once thought… just maybe… he could have given his heart too. Despite the incredibly bad timing and situation of the decision.

Falling for the enemy is never good.

The ginger man stared down at Wufei, who was still wearing the rose patterned mask and feminine make up. He looked slightly taken aback

"Oh… I…" he looked about him, as if checking to see if he might have stopped the wrong person by mistake. The look or confusion on his face caused a huge lump to tighten in Wufei's chest… _He looks so like you Treize…_

The man shook his head slightly "I thought you were somebody else… I'm sorry miss…" he smiled politely at Wufei, and went to turn away, but paused and looked back, and Wufei felt his breath catch _I don't care if you cant be him… please tell me you're Treize…_

"Could I ask for your name…?" the man asked quietly, just looking mildly curios.

Wufei was torn… If this… but no… Treize was dead, and no look a little would be able to replace him. It was not worth jeopardizing his life again, being linked to the Gundams would have him thrown off of the colony.

"Kei Lang." He murmured quietly, flicking his eyes down, and then back up at the ginger haired man "And yours…?"

"Ren." He stated, his eyed unreadable for a moment "Ren Fell." He held his hand out to Wufei, who placed his hand in Ren's and allowed a kiss to be placed on the back of it. "Maybe I will see you around miss…" he murmured quietly.

Wufei nodded, and smiled up at him "I would like that very much. Good evening." With that he turned and continued his way home, his mind buzzing franticly away with a million questions, the most prominent of which being "What if I **had** told him my real name…?"

_He thinks you're a woman now._ His mind helpfully supplied.

* * *

I hope you enjoyed! The next section will be along soon!

I love reviews! Really! But, i'll write anyway Mwee!


	2. Chapter 2

_Okay! Hey there people! This is chapter two! I'm sorry if this is kinda short, but i'm back at college now, and other work is demanding my attention, but i really wanted to ensure i got part two posted foryou guys before the end of the week, so i can start on part three._

_I know where this story is going, and thank you so much for your wonderful reviews, they are always such an inspiration to me!_

_I hope you enjoy this chapter, please let me know. I will try and have the next chapter for you soon!_

_LH_

* * *

It was with some relief that Wufei shut the door to his small basement apartment behind him that night.

What a weird evening.

After removing his coat, having it up, taking off his shoes and settling in his bedroom with a plan to remove his make up he let his mind wander as he looked into his vanities mirror.

_It would have been so easy…_ he thought to himself as his fingers brushed across the rose mask he wore _if I'd taken this off… then maybe…_

"No." he stated aloud "That man, was Not Treize. He might have looked him, a lot like him to be honest… but… I saw Treize die. I heard him say goodbye, and I saw the mobile suit explode. I saw it happen. No one could live through that."

He slowly removed the mask "I saw him Die." He affirmed again "Three years ago I saw him die. Three years ago, I Killed Treize Kushrenada."

With an irate sigh Wufei dropped the mask onto the vanities polished surface, quickly wiped away the majority of his makeup and rose to his feet. The mans face, Treizes face just wouldn't leave his mind, it wasn't fair, he'd just about managed to push all thought of the proud aristocrat far back into his memory, and now this, well… No. Just no. No matter how much the man may have looked and sounded like Treize, the dead did not just re-appear, and Wufei would not cater to his own insanity. Not again.

Yawning slightly Wufei changed into his nightclothes, made his way over to his bed, pushed the covers back and climbed tiredly in. He didn't have to work tomorrow, or the next day, so he could rest. Hopefully a night sleep would lift the fog from his sanity once again, and he would finally stop seeing ghosts once and for all.

_Sweaty palms slipped slightly on the steering controls as he fought to swing the large robotic warrior around, no one said piloting the Gundam 05 was an easy task, even for a seasoned warrior. _

_The fight was a lengthy one; many jibes had been sent back and forth, some more cutting than others _

"_I wont go easy on you this time."_

_It made Wufeis blood boil. _

_Another huge wrench on the controls, the strength in his arms holding the suit steady, and he was around._

_Dark ebony eyes widened._

_Before him, the suit piloted by Treize Kushrenada was alive with crackling electricity, as the noise of battle continued to flare around him, Wufei froze, his blood seeming to turn to ice in his veins._

_"Why didn't you kill me back there?" Wufeis own words echoed around his mind_

"_Well." Came the answer "I just couldn't kill one of the few people who understood me, that's all…"_

"_You LOSER!" His own come back was harsh_

_This wasn't right._

_Smoke poured from the mobile suit, and an electrical fire could be seen glowing on the suits right side. _

_Treize had charged him, beam sabre out in front and Wufei, to prevent his own destruction had had to raise his own double ended beam trident to protect himself, it had hit home, very hard._

_The speaker crackled, and Wufei reached out, swiftly turning up the volume, he could make out Treizes voice._

"_That… Was Beautiful… Wufei…"_

_Wufei felt his eyes widen, his throat felt as though someone was holding it closed, he couldn't reply… he was trying, the pain in Treizes voice, the stumbling over the simple words… Treize was dying… He'd killed him…_

"_NO! TREIZE!" his voice was a hoarse cry, "How COULD you?"_

_There was no immediate reply, but the sound of the systems in the other suit going down, whining and grinding carried across the intercom system. _

Then, through the crackling Treizes voice cut through again, slightly weaker now 

"_Bye Wufei… My eternal Friend…" Wufei felt his chest tighten again at the words, this wasn't right this wasn't how it was meant to happed! " I am honoured I could fight with you pilots"_

_Wufei could hear himself screaming, _

"_this… cant be true! No way! I WONT let this happen!"_

_He could hear every nerve in body urging him to go and save the other suit, but it was no use, it was too late. A huge explosion ripped through empty space and suit alike, and buffeted Wufei and Altron. Treize was gone. There was no debris in sight._

"_DAMNIT!" Wufei heard his own voice again, and brought his fist down on the control panel of the Gundam. Tears' clinging to his thick dark lashes "I didn't think… I'd win…" his voice was a broken murmur… he had never meant to kill Treize. _

_Slowly, the tears fell down his cheeks, soaking his chin and neck as they fell. _

Wufei sat bolt upright in his bed, real tears falling thick and fast down his olive cheeks

"Treize…" he sobbed, bringing his knees up to his chest and hugging them "I didn't mean for it to happen.. I didn't think I'd win… I really didn't think I'd win…"

* * *

_There we go, chapter two is over and done! I hope you enjoyed it! Hear from you soon!_

_Much Love!_

_LH!_


	3. Chapter 3

_Okay, so after popping back to Fanfiction and seeing a review which made me more than a little ashamed of myself, I decided that even if I'm not really in the hobby any more, I really shouldn't leave something unfinished, I know I hated it when I read a whole lot of Fanfiction myself, finding a story then never having it finished, so here we go, this is my trying to make it right!_

_There will be one further chapter after this, potentially two, though I hope only one so as to make sure I actually finish it, and I will attempt to do that tonight and tomorrow!_

_Anywho! Here you go!_

* * *

His hotel on the grimy little colony of L5 left a lot, an awful lot to be desired. It smelt a little damp, one of the windows had a very large crack running across the whole pane, and frankly he was expecting the carpet to get up and walk itself out of the room at any given moment. It was honestly a pit, but what could he do? He wasn't really... wealthy... any more. At least not just now... Ren Fell had very little money and no real identity. But could he ever really go back to being Treize Kushrenada...? He doubted it. The war might be over, but how long would the peace last if the head of one of the major factions once again reared his head? Maybe it would be better for the world if he stayed gone...

There were some parts of the world however that he wasn't sure he was entirely willing to actually vanish from... there was someone, somewhere in the horribly huge expanse of space that he hoped, just maybe... might be missing him. Might want him to come back... might welcome him despite the transgressions of the past and the bitter pseudo hatred with which they fought... he'd thought, just for a fleeting moment today that he'd found him, that he'd found the fiery pilot that had captured his heart and inflamed his senses... how very poetic... but he had been mistaken... Kei Lang... Wufei Chang... names in no way similar really, and... well, he couldn't believe that Wufei would have forgotten him... the chances of simply running into him were far too small, and the likelihood of him taking up the role of a dancer, and a female one at that... well... the dragon pilot was far too proud, at least... in his memories.

Yes. There was no way... he had allowed hope and wistfulness to cloud his mind... that had to be it.

With a sigh the auburn haired man settled himself down on the bed he'd paid a pittance for the displeasure of sleeping in. The ancient frame gave a depressed creak as it took his weight and he shook his head, any movement in the night would have the whole frame moaning and protesting like an old crone, it wasn't going to be an easy night. Why had he even bothered...? If Wufei didn't wish to be found no power on earth or the shells of the colonies would be able to find him, the last three years had shown him that. What hope was there than a feeling... an instinct that told him to simply come here would actually be proven right?

Bah.

He was a fool for wasting his money, a good deal of what he had managed to procure access to, on the horrendously expensive ticket. He would only end up leaving empty handed and even more forlorn... when he'd seen the girls face today though, Kei Lang... her face had looked so... hauntingly familiar that he had dared to hope... just for a moment that he might have found the one he sought so desperately. But of course, as with every lead he tried to follow he was met only with regret, remorse and bitter disappointment.

For a moment he considered laying down, but the notion of being so close to the creaking frame of the bed, he found, did not appeal as much as he'd hoped it would, and after lifting a hand to push his hair from his face, where the strands attempted to blind his tired eyes for a moment, he pushed himself back up to his feet, much to the apparent and audible distress of the bed frame. Slow footsteps took the auburn haired man over to the window where he looked out at the falling snow.. it was like this every day of the year, every single day... how could they cope with the cold? He'd been here less than a week at this point and it was already fairly unbearable.

"I promised myself I would look for you Wufei... I made myself the vow that if I survived I should be allowed to see you one last time... I am sure it gave me the strength to continue..." After a moment's pause he chuckled quietly... he really could wax poetic when he wished to, and days where he felt such a great melancholy as this only served to heighten his flamboyant tendencies. "You were always so elegant... you fought with such passion, such... belief, how could I help but admire you?" He sighed... "It seems that even a sacrifice as great as the one I was willing to make has not proved enough to pacify the world however... I fear, Wufei, I have lost you for nothing..." Of course he had never made his feelings truly known, what time they had had, had not been filled with emotions, at least not in verbalising them, but there were times, times like today when he wished more than anything he had taken a moment to evaluate how he was feeling while there was still time to actually express it to the man in question... retrospect was greatly beneficial, but also a complete arse.

Treize watched the snow for only a little while longer, the white flakes were beautiful, but here he knew it wasn't real, it was produced by a machine, it was formed somewhere up in the huge roof of the metallic structure they were currently residing in, it wasn't real, it was fake... as beautiful as it was it was only a shallow pretence of the real beauty of nature. He didn't care for it, the only place where such cold falling water could be really beautiful was earth, where it was a real mystery of nature.

He shook his head, what good was standing here going to do him? The room smelt unpleasant, the walls showed the damp and he had no need to be inside like this, but he felt horrible. A shower was necessary just now... the room was inflicted with enough damp now, it wouldn't hurt it for him to fill it with steam from the presumably defective bathroom door. God... he just hoped that the water was hot... he could never stand a cold shower, it was really, truly horrible to be caught under a fall of infuriatingly cool water, it left you feeling unpleasant, not clean. He could only hope... pray... implore some higher power to have sympathy on him in at least one endeavour and grant him hot water.

It seemed that at least on that score as well the tall man was going to be let down, the water was, well, at a best warm, it wasn't too bad, but it wasn't especially great, and the water pressure wasn't very good either. It was pretty... well, drippy. A leaky pipe would have probably done a better job of getting him clean, but what could he do about that now? He'd made the best of a bad job and sulked off, after dressing again of course, out of the hotel to go and find something to eat, they'd offered him breakfast, but he wasn't to count on them for dinner, he didn't really care, the breakfast had been terrible, but then again he had pretty high standards, even now.

He supposed that after he'd eaten he'd probably take a walk, he had little else to do with his evenings. The old databases had yielded no sign of Wufei Chang anyway, but unless he could pick up enough reception to get in touch with his shuttle driver then he was going to be stuck here for the week and a half as planned... a walk would help out there as well, he might be able to find a patch of phone signal, there were one or two still around, so he could try... he was pretty sure he'd be able to find one, it would just take a little time. With any luck he'd be gone in two days tops.

"_Goddamn you Wufei_... why are you so hard to find? Or at least forget..."

* * *

_And there we go, I would appreciate a review, letting me know that it's worth me actually finishing this, I'm going to try anyway, but here we go!_

_I hope it was okay 3_


	4. Chapter 4

_The rest of this story, and in fact Chapter Three as well, if from here out dedicated, and actually in existence thanks to Li Nika._

_They gave me the nudge I needed to start writing, and have provided some input that has given me a few pointers on what I need to try and get back to, so I can't thank you enough for that hun!_

* * *

**Chapter 4.**

The night had passed for Wufei in a whirling mass of torment and broken hearted sorrow. Each wailing howl of the synthesized night time wind startled him into full wakefulness each and every time that his exhausted mind and body sought out the comforting embrace of restful sleep. Each and every bang and rattle of the shutters from his pavement level, ceiling high window made him jump, and images of death, blood, violence and destruction danced around his mind like shrieking spectres, giving him no rest and a heavy hearted feeling in his chest. At some time during the howling, windy night he must have found sleep however, as he was able to wake up with the black mood caused by his night of anguished disturbance still clinging to him. It was nothing new at all for him to awaken without a smile on his lips, he didn't usually greet a new day with tears in his eyes, on his cheeks, and soaking his cheap, thin pillow.

The realisation that he was hurting caused his cheeks to flush... hot embarrassment rushed over him, he was crying, he was hurting, he was longing deeply for someone that could be anywhere... near, far... on another planet... on another plane of existence even. He could be anywhere... yet a man who looked so like him, so very, very like him had just walked into his life, a sylph, a will-o-the-wisp; a dream even... a nightmare... a night terror. The fierce warrior that still existed within the almost delicate looking young man railed and thundered at the feelings of fear, loneliness and despair. This was such a obvious display of weakness! Pathetic, foolish behaviour! How could he lay here crying like a woman! How could he dance, show his body off to anyone with tastes to take in the show? How could he bear the life of lies and vicious deception that he'd entered into? How... had he become this...? His whole life was nothing more now than a completely empty lie... the brave warrior that had once fought with such passion and righteous fury was so hidden, so smothered by the lies and untruths that there was barely any sign that he'd ever been there at all.

"Was it ever real...?" The young man's voice was quiet, he was talking to himself after all, and he hardly needed to shout. "Was that really me...?" But of course he knew it was. He wouldn't have the pain that seemed to permanently reside within him if it wasn't, he wouldn't have the memories of secret affection, of respect, of pride, of... love... if it wasn't real. He would certainly not have the stinging, wrenching sensation of loss and regret... of guilt... of shame for the tears he'd cried. If the warrior lost within him was a lie, was pretend, was a figment, then so were all the feelings he had to live each and every day with, and if there was one thing he knew, then it was just how real, just how strong the feelings were.

Slowly, as the minutes trickled by the darkness that had still cloaked the room when Wufei had opened his eyes began to slowly relent. With every second it gave way to the faux rays of the early morning L5 sun. The young man knew he should get up, he knew he should push himself out of his bed and face the day, but part of him just desperately wanted to pull his blankets up over his head and just hide under them until the horrible feelings of misery and loneliness left, though when that would be he could not even guess. He knew he should not spend his day in that way regardless of his wants. Though he had few real claims on his time he was certain he could find things which he should do. His little abode needed some care and attention for one thing... it had been a while since he had really devoted the time to it that he should have... but... a soft sigh passed Wufei's lips as he pushed himself up. It was... disheartening... seeing what a sorry state his life had fallen into. He was used to spending time in less than satisfactory housing, but never, never before had he ever had to call one of them his own, and honestly take responsibility for the state it was in onto his own shoulders.

Now he did. And he didn't like it one bit.

An uncomfortable, tight feeling in his stomach told Wufei he should probably get himself something to eat as well, he had not eaten a great deal the evening before, if anything... so having something this morning was more important than ever. He had food, as much as anyone else on L5 did, and he still found some small amount of enjoyment in cooking as it took away some of the more unstable aspects of his life, it was something mundane, something normal. He wasn't exceptionally skilled in the culinary arts, but his meals were not horrible by any stretch of the imagination. Food though, he should definitely work on that...

That was enough of a motivation, luckily, to cause Wufei to leave his bed. First of all he moved to his bathroom, he felt unpleasant, waking up with tears and distress had left him feeling the need to try and wash them away, and what better than a shower... the moderately warm water running over his body, washing the feelings, the memories and the terrors of the night away from him, he could only hope that he would feel some reprieve from his torments, spend some of the day in peace rather than being smothered by his memories and desperate wishes.

To some degree the wash did help, he felt somewhat refreshed as he stepped out of the shower, feeling the cold air of his bathroom bite at him. He would put the heating on for a little while. There were only so many days you could happily live with the constant cold of this place. His hair felt better as well. It smelt of shampoo, just a clean, fresh scent, nothing floral or fruity, just, clean. He didn't see the point in smothering yourself with a melee of different aromas, he was happier with just feeling cleansed.

Clothing and food followed in due course. Loose, warm trousers in a black, heavy fabric were mostly covered by a grey tunic with a slight silvery sheen. A tie belt tucked the fabric in around his waist, it was a comfortable outfit, and the long sleeves kept him nicely warm, though his coat was fairly good for that as well. After he had eaten he concluded he would step out for a while, just take a small walk. It was a good way to pass the time, he would only hear later if he was required at work... money was in short supply at the moment, and of course, he often lost out to the real dancers... he wasn't bad, not by a long shot. His movements were elegant, they were graceful and he was skilled, but his employer had a responsibility to the dancers who were not engaged as in lies and deception. He really didn't have a leg to stand on as far as complaining about needing more work went. He simply had to endure what life threw at him, take what he could and never expect a thing.

His breakfast ended up a simple affair. Simply two pieces of very lightly toasted bread with a scrape of butter, and a little honey spread on them. The sweat flavour of the honey was a treat he allowed himself on days when his mood was at its lowest. It warmed him a little, brought happy memories to the forefront of his mind. It was a flavour he was very attached to. Sadly some of the memories that were attached to it were as saddening as they were happy, but the overall effected tended towards the bittersweet.

Sitting out on a terrace when he should have been somewhere far more violent, somewhere more deadly... that was how the memory began. There had been gentle rays of sunlight kissing his skin, pouring down from the heaves, from the sky... the real... blue... sky. The wind had been dancing around them, brushing his skin and causing his ebony hair to tickle his neck, despite the delicate strands being restrained. He'd been angry, very angry, but then again, from what he could remember spending any time at all around Treize Kushrenada had made him scowl. The older man was very, very clever, and that was infuriating enough. To make it worse however he was faultlessly polite, very civilised and always seemed to keep his word. Apart from their differing views on what direction things should move in, there was nothing at all about the aristocrat that Wufei could find any complaint with. They had been having breakfast together that morning. Wufei was a guess in the intensely fancy home... honey sweetened rosehip tea, fresh fruit, and toast... very lightly toasted at that, and spread with butter, and thick, golden honey.

They were generally amicable company, often quiet, often silent, and only rarely talkative. When they did speak however, they seemed to find their minds similarly engaged, and their thoughts to be highly compatible, and as much as he knew that he was very literally sitting down to tea with the 'enemy', Wufei could not help but enjoy it. It was a different world... there was no violence here. They had an unspoken accord. They were not enemies here... Treize would make no moves towards Wufei, his Gundam, or the other pilots, and Wufei would treat the older man with calm acceptance, and respect. It was a blissful accord. It gave them a world to share outside the reality of what was happening, and it had been the real, firm anchor of the feelings that he still held within him. That day, in the soft, golden morning sunlight, Wufei had looked over at the older man, dappled by the light as it filtered through the open branches of a large old oak, and he had acknowledged his real, deep respect for him... his admiration, his attraction... and on a level that had taken some time to develop, his affection. It had been the root of the emotion he could only call love these days...

Such feelings had never really, fully grown... the seed had been sewn, but that was where it had halted, he wasn't in love with him, he couldn't be... he may have started to feel such a thing, and he may have maintained such feelings for the memory of the man, but how could he be in love with him now? It had been too many years...

Of course it was denial, of course it was, he pushed his feelings aside, as if pretending would ease the ache and sadness. But nothing could. That day would stay with him forever. That day would bring a sad smile to his lips and often a melancholy tear to his eye. He had found Treize wonderful that day, accepted a gentle touch of a larger hand to his and they had spent the day in companionable quiet together. That night a set of unexpectedly soft lips had brushed his knuckles... a murmured goodnight... and that had been that. He'd left before the sun rose. But that was normal. He never stayed long... a few days that was all.

He now wished of course, that he had delayed his leaving, he knew now that every moment was more precious than he could ever have known at the time. But the past is one thing you can certainly never change. It is what it is, and it cannot be undone.

The young man shook his head, his hair was longer now, and currently it was allowed to fall loosely around his face and shoulders. He had finished eating now, the memorable food was gone, and moments later he moved himself up to his feet. A few careful steps brought him across the room to his and out into the hall, from there he was able to enter his bedroom and move over to the vanity... once again he lifted his mask from the polished surface, setting it gently on his face. He was accustomed to hiding now... it was safer. It was a symbol of where he worked... it gave him some manner of security. The final addition was his long black coat. It fell down to his ankles. The fabric wasn't very shaped so it fell about him more like a long shawl with sleeves than a coat, but it was warm, and it kept the snow from soaking him too quickly.

The white flakes clung to him the moment he stepped outside, flying against him, clinging to his hair and clothes and melting rapidly against his decidedly warmer skin. He began to walk... there was no real direction in his movements, simply drifting from here to there, then on to somewhere else once again.

He had been about to turn from one little side street onto a broader, main one when he was halted in his tracks by the sight of a familiar figure once again... he froze, his hand lifted up to cover his mouth as an involuntary murmur of "Treize..." passed his lips. No. No he couldn't stand this... he was dead! He was dead he was dead he was dead! And this was torment!

Seconds later the Chinese man had turned and hurried back up the street where he had stepped out from mere moments before.

* * *

Out on the street, Treize Kushrenada turned on the spot to peer behind him... the street was empty barring an older woman pushing a shopping cart along with her... she was paying him no attention at all. Why on earth had he felt so watched suddenly...? He sighed very quietly. This place was bad for him, it was making him more than a little uneasy... the sooner he could leave, the better.

* * *

_Okay! That's that done, but apparently I was wrong... it's gonna need another chapter or two to actually get through this, but there we go! I've been doing some thinking and it seems to work out for the best. Anyway! I hope this was okay, I tried to get a little more back towards the story's original feel. Leave me a review if you care to! I always like them!_

_LH~_


End file.
